Welcome to 82nd

Grenade is awesome. It is a snowboard company with a lot of people who used to snowboard. A few who still do, and some that even win Olympic medals on occasion. But none of those people work here. This is 82nd. It is our warehouse. Our business office. A skateshop and skatepark. It's where we store boats, broken-down video games and left over product. At and given time there are at least 5 dogs. Sometimes they fight.

It is our slow season, which means its time to catch up on all the things that have been fucked up over the last, well, six years we've been in business. This causes the Great Oz, Matt Kass, to yell and occasionally blow smoke out of his ears. Many people quit (or get fired) this time of year. If you make it through, you go back to having an awesome job. If you don't, well, you probably find a better job somewhere. But your photos will remain as the screen saver for your computer indefinitely.

There are a few strongholds in the company. They have been employed by Grenade in some way for several years. There is AJ. He is "customer service" I think. I'm not really sure what he actually does, but when it involves professional snowboarders, he makes sure to think out loud. "Scotty Arnold says he wears Bob Gnarly's, but I am not sending him gloves no one will publish." He is usually referred to as the Human Sticker Pack, and still claims to snowboard. He definitely has Grenade tattoos. If you sit anywhere near him, you know all about his two trucks, and his awesome hangovers.

Dave is my favorite. He helped get Grenade off the ground by giving Matt a loan. Matt wouldn't pay it back until Dave was going to spend it on something good. Now he sits in the corner and designs stuff. He used to invoice, but he is no longer allowed to do that. He recently described Grenade as a "junkyard." He is quite hilarious. He has a dog named Reddick and a house he can't quite afford. He has been known to wear snowboard pants because his only other pair of jeans (tight black stretch pants actually) are dirty and it's too cold for shorts. He used to have a mohawk, but it has since grown out. Again, he is my favorite.

Bayne hasn't come around much lately. Bayne is from my hometown. He was really good at skateboarding. Now he runs the shop downtown. It's some sort of outlet that sells long boards and spray paint. People steal stuff all the time. Theoretically, he handles inside sales. Occasionally he is on the phone shmoozing people to buy SP bindings, which we licensed, but didn't bother to market. He is also in charge of RAs (that's return authorization). Though he keeps a record of it, no one really ever knows what's going on. He has a shoe with a bamboo plant on his desk.

Downstairs Jesse is the king. Well, actually Matt is king of everything, but if Matt isn't paying attention, Jesse is in charge. Jesse, or House, as he's also called, has a stripper girlfriend who keeps him out until 5 am. He acts tough, and doesn't change his clothes very often, but deep down he is nice. I think he might also be a pro snowboarder, or former pro snowboarder. He hates packing boxes and always talks about how much more he got paid at Betty Rides. He used to have a den downstairs where they kept dogs and smoked weed, but Matt made him clean it out. Now there are just a few shirts hanging from the ceiling.

Then there are the grunts. The grunts are amazing, because none of them have any idea what they are doing. It will take them a week to paint one wall. Putting a sticker on the door is a two man job. They spend most of their time a Rosco's, the bar across the street. A few of them have been temporarily banned from the establishment. A quick breakdown of the grunts:

Cole-- Spends most of his time air drumming. Often comes upstairs to announce his latest great idea. "Baloons made out of bubble gum" being my favorite.
Jamie-- The smartest of the grunts. I think he may actually be going to school and trying to better himself.
Curtis-- A total rocker. Long hair, tight jeans. Funny dude, not much of a worker, the secretary definitely has a crush on him.

Oh yeah, then there is Forest. Dark Forest to be exact. At one point we had three Forest's. This one is the most amazing though. He's maintainence supervisor i guess. He is allowed to have assistants. He worked for months without getting paid because he was on workman's comp. He built the entire skatepark and probably some other stuff to. Then, when he was no longer getting workman's comp, he asked if he could get paid for all those hours. Apparently he had gotten more product than he needed and the guys at the shop were over it. Now he gets paid, is a staple at Rosco's and is always good for entertainment. Oh yeah, and he has an awesome mustache.

Back upstairs there are a few more people. Kelly was hired to be the morning receptionist, but since she is not retarded, quickly fell into the role of Matt's personal assistant. She doesn't skate and she's not a dirtbag. But she manages to put up with everything anyway. There is the other Matt. I call him the blind guy cause he carries a blind guy cane. I think he was hired to fold goggle boxes but now he is a receptionist. He mostly sits and stares at the phones, willing them to ring. When they do he answers, "Grenade, how can I help you?" Jen used to work here. She did credits and general office work. But she's knocked up, and her existing child is now on summer vacation, so she won't be coming around for awhile.

There is also a shop out there. It is run by Tom. Tom is always positive, always stoked. I think he was hired to help run the company, but ended up just running a shop. He is always trying to make shit happen for people. He loves his employees.

His employees are:
Kailey--She may also be his personal assistant. She's afraid of Jesse and lives at Tom's house.
Willis-- Amazing at skateboarding, not so good at life. When all the Grenerds got charged for damaging a hotel in Seattle, he got charged the most.
Forest--Forest is nice. He lives in Gresham.
Traci-- Traci used to work upstairs. She got cut off cause all she did is play on Myspace. Now she sets up skateboards.

There are always others coming and going. I think Matt hired the bartender from Rosco's to walk his dog. Shane Flood comes by the fix bikes. There are always a ton of old trucks in the parking lot. Oh yeah, and there is a garden on the roof. And no, they are not growing weed.